FoodTrek: First Encounters of a Seattle Wine and Food Experience

I came, I saw, I ate a lot. And then I took some antacid when I got home before slipping into a massive Food Coma. A Sunday not to be forgotten, I attended my first Seattle Wine and Food Experience, an annual gastronomiconvention that showcases food and drink from the Seattle area, as well as the surrounding Pacific Northwest region. Sensory overload be damned, it was a Super Monstertruck Sunday of food and drink for your digestive system!

One stop on the Omnomnomicon - lovely rillette from Copperleaf Restaurant - Photo by Wasabi Prime

Mixed Plate: Breaking Up is Hard to Do (with cake)

The parenthetical (with cake) seemed a requirement in today's title because, really, everyone knows Facebook is the place to post devastatingly personal milestones in small, graphical icon tags. And so it was, a softly-lit, slow-dance crescendo moment of The Way We Were... an intense, short-lived romance destined to be as memorable as it was tearful. Star-crossed lovers in a whirlwind romance... Me and Milk Chocolate Cake...and then it all went wrong. (roll sad music and end credits)

The Cake-Up - Photo by Wasabi Prime

UnRecipe: Far East Meets Eastern Europe

Did you know there's an Eastern European version of the magical Chinese soup dumpling, aka, xiao long bao? And did you know the this version is way less of a pain in the be-hind to make from scratch? Forget Lunar New Year, I'm defecting to the land of Eastern Promises, where the dumplings are hearty and plentiful -- priviet, comrades!

Soup dumplings, Russian-style -- meet khinkali - Photo by Wasabi Prime

UnRecipe: Be My Valentine, Truffle Butter

It's no big secret that truffle butter is magic. Serious Hogwarts stuff. Rich, fatty butter that's whipped with bits of rare, earthy truffles -- it's a m-effing sorcerer. And it makes all food better, especially the simplest, most humble dishes. It's like a Cinderella fairy godmother. That you can eat. I daresay it even improves one's mood during the darkest, most depressing days of winter. So bibbity-bobbity-truffle butter, let's get it on with how truffle buttah makes everything bettah, plus what better way to surprise your sweetheart for Valentine's Day with something extra-rich and homemade?

Pasta Carbonara alla Truffle Butter Badassery - Photo by Wasabi Prime

It's a common mistake to assume women are the consummate shoppers and subscribers to Retail Therapy. Someone needs to take that saying off bedazzled pink t-shirts and figure out a way to emblazon that mantra onto manly canvas bags or bacon-scented cologne because dudes like to shop as much as the ladies. The retail yield may not be the same -- no boxes of shoes and twenty versions of the same blouse in multiple colors, but there's definitely an economy being stimulated. The Mister has steadily been upgrading and building his beermaking gear over the last couple of months with much unusual and customized equipment. Granted, no beer has actually been made over this time, but the regular UPS/FedEx deliveries of odd sized boxes are sure to make the neighbors thing we're slowly building a WMD, one part at a time, in our garage. But I know when he's online browsing, he's not immune to the odd impulse purchase. And it's not a pack of gum or a candy bar he's buying, he's getting duck fat and truffle butter.

I knew I was with my soulmate when he said as an aside, "Just so you know, I bought a bunch of duck fat and truffle butter, so make sure you're home to sign for that." No real intention or grand plan, it just sounded good. And of course, he's right -- it does sound good. Freakin' majestic, even. I can credit Woot for this purchase, their daily deals are the most wonderfully weird mix of random stuff that you never knew you'd need, and they inevitably tempt you and your credit card in unexpected ways. And that's how we wound up with a chilled box of duck fat and truffle butter set upon our doorstep like some marvelous food stork delivery.

Take that impulse-buy-chewing-gum! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

I hadn't made any plans with the duck fat (posts to come on, that, worry not), but I had my sights set on the truffle butter. It's one of those ingredients that sound so luxurious you feel silly to buy it, but when you have it, it's a constant source of inspiration because you can't stop thinking about what it can get added to. I wouldn't drown anything in truffle butter, it's like a finishing salt, something added towards the end of a dish's preparation for an added layer of complex flavor. It blesses food with that distinctive earthy umami that truffles have -- slightly pungent and made all the more rich by being whipped into butter. Smearing a little pat on a prepared steak or a piece of fish, letting it melt and the flavor meld with the already cooked meat, or in my most recent makings: pasta.

Simple, simple, simple. That was how I wanted to test drive the truffle butter. Pasta is a neutral vehicle to carry its flavors, so I did a couple of quick pantry pasta dishes that were finished with a pat of this wizard-like butter. I made a basic bechamel and added the butter in the final stage of tossing the already-cooked noodles with the creamy sauce. A few shavings of Parmesan and it was thoroughly enjoyed on a cold midweek night. But pale as an albino -- if I had fresh parsley it would have perked it up for a photo-op. Maybe a chiffonade of fresh basil and a sprinkle of freshly toasted pine nuts. Meh -- mental notes for another time. The best use for the truffle butter so far, both in flavor and looks department was the classic pasta carbonara. A light, buttery rich sauce thickened with egg and flavored with pepper and garlic, the savoriness of bacon or some kind of pan-crisped fatty meat -- it holds up nicely with the truffle's distinctive unctuous quality. In this case, I had extra charcuterie of all sorts, so I fried those odds and ends up until crisp, set them aside and toasted some garlic and red pepper flakes in the oil before whipping up the quick pan sauce that lightly coats the noodles. Truffle butter goodness was added last, right as the cooked pasta was added. I like sprinkling the crispy meat over the top as a garnish, and reserving the egg yolk to top it. It makes for a very pretty presentation, that lovely golden yolk and browned meat crisps over a pile of lightly sauced pasta. Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Truffle butter makes you actually welcome cold, miserable days like this - Photos by Wasabi Prime

The real magic behind truffle butter's sorcery is that it lessens the effects of the insufferable Seasonal Affective Disorder that hangs over our heads once fall kicks in and the sun Peaces-Out for the next five months. The fall leaves were beautiful, but there were days where the rain was so heavy and hard, you could barely see out your window -- and it tore that autumnal beauty to shreds. I saw skies that made me pretty sure the Deatheaters from Harry Potter were about to attack, they were so scary-dark and ominous. Dishes that are rich and comforting -- with just a touch of luxury -- make for a wonderful shelter from the winter storm. You almost look forward to the worst of the gloomy days, as it justifies your desire to bust out the truffle butter and flip Old Man Winter the bird. Count that as another plus in favor of having something as luxe as truffle butter being a staple in your refrigerator, and an easy indulgence to make every day (even Valentine's Day) a special one.

FoodTrek: If it's Tuesday, it Must Be Belgianfest

OK, so it's not Tuesday and Belgianfest happened the week before, but I'm a sucker for movie pun-titled blog posts! And so another beer festival celebrating Belgian-style beers through the lens of Northwest breweries came and went... and what do we have to show for ourselves? Memories of interesting and creative beers and thankfully dodging the Hangover Bullet.

Belgianfest 2013!! Cute little tulip glasses!!!  Exclamation points!!!!!! - Photo by Wasabi Prime

I remember attending Washington Beer Commission's  first Belgianfest, held in the very histori-cool South Downtown Seattle Georgetown neighborhood. As seen in this post back in 2010, the Engine Room at Georgetown Studios rocked the Casbah, it had a lot of character. But the downside was its lack of facilities, given the fact that it was an old bottling factory, not a party building -- we were literally running across the street to use the restrooms at a nearby bar nice enough to let us drunkards run in and out after weaving through traffic. It's true when they say, you don't own beer, you just rent it. The next Belgianfest was held at Magnuson Park, a convenient neighborhood spot that a lot of people could just walk or bus to, only adding to its popularity and making it jam-packed with people in record time. So CROWDED. We unfortunately missed last year's Belgianfest but made sure not to miss this year's -- both were held at what I'm assuming is the festival's new home, the Bell Harbor Convention Center, right in Downtown Seattle, by the piers along Alaskan Way. Split into two separate sessions, afternoon and evening, both were totally sold out and despite the big crowds, I have to say the convention center struck just the right balance of getting a big group of beer-drinkers to mingle for some creative beers.

Drinkin' beer at the pier - Photos by Wasabi Prime

We got our beer kicks at Pier 66, wandering the many familiar Washington brewer tables, which had more than 80 Belgian-style beers being offered. That's a whole lotta beer. We of course didn't drink all of it, just sampled the brews that peaked our interest. I will say this: Belgian beers are not typical session beers. You're not going to crack a sour Kriek open at a summer barbecue and slug it down with hotdogs and a handful of Fritos. There are big, wide-audience beer companies who do lighter interpretations, like Fat Tire from New Belgium Brewery, which was probably my first introduction into Belgian beers back in college, but the flavor profile of many of the traditional Belgian style beers at Belgianfest are strongly-flavored and not shy with the tastebuds.

Beers with character! And balloons!! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

There were a lot of colorful character beers, like Anacortes Brewery's Peppercorn Saison and Elysian Brewing's Saison Poivre, which was just that -- strongly peppercorn-forward flavored beer. Seems weird, but an interesting sensation, similar to those beers infused with raw jalapenos. You get an intense savoriness from the beer, with a hint of heat. Several wine-flavored beers, like Black Raven's wine barrel-aged La Mort Rouge, Hale's Ales Hot and Nasty! Saison fermented in a French merlot barrel, and Triplehorn Brewing's Ol du Vin (Beer of the Vine) which collaborated with Patterson Cellars, blending their beer with Patterson's late harvest Roussanne. The red wine beers had a more earthy, robust flavor, while Tripplehorn's use of the Roussanne made their farmhouse Saison more complex, retaining its brighter notes.

Don't forget your favorite hat and tap handle! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

I would call these beers Belgian-inspired, since it's really hard to hold back the Pacific Northwestern rebellious brewer spirit that can't help but hop the hell out of beers and play with flavors like a mad scientist. Snipes Mountain Brewing has been a longtime favorite, and they did a nice job with their Terror, a malty and smoky stout fermented with Saison yeast. Slightly tart, but rounded out with five different malted grains, molasses and honey.  It warmed me up on a cold winter's night, that's for sure.

Skulls, bung plugs and beer - it's a party!! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

There were also some new faces to the festival circuit -- even one brewery that's right in our own town of Duvall that I didn't even know about, I'm ashamed to say! The ones I took notice of were Justice Brewing from Everett, Reuben's Brews in Ballard and Duvall's own Duvall Springs Brewing. I didn't get a chance to try Justice, but heard good things about their White and Nerdy, their take on a Belgian Wit. I'll have to try more of Duvall Springs' beer at our local Duvall Grill, as they don't have a tasting room yet, but are keeping the hometown beer mugs full. I really liked Reuben's Brews, and not just because I was thinking of good friends Alice and Reuben, who were getting married that very night over in NYC -- congrats, you guys! Reuben's Brews' Belgian pale ale was a really lovely, crisp beer -- very clean, light citrus notes and one of the few beers that I could see myself having a few pints of, given its smooth drinkability.

The new brews on the block! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Not to say we weren't enjoying ourselves, trying all these funky Belgian beers, but it's definitely a tasting event. More sipping than drinking, and really working those tastebuds, trying to isolate some of the unusual flavor components of the beers. At least, that's what we were doing -- granted, I attended with the Mister and his friend Sean. They were both fresh off a homebrew judge session earlier that day with IPAs. It seems crazy to go from a beer judging day and going straight into a Belgian beer festival evening, but again, it was mostly sipping beers and I'd argue our accumulative tastes that night may have only amounted to a pint and a half's worth, since we were tossing many of the sample pours so our palates wouldn't be totally hosed by night's end. What's the point of trying multiple rare beers if you can't appreciate the flavor, right? Not to say we weren't having our own rowdy time, meeting up with friends and fellow beer-lovers. Civil Inebriation -- we like to keep things classy.

Belgian beer, meet Belgian Waffles! Match made in heaven - Photos by Wasabi Prime

We fortified prior to Belgianfest at the almighty Fatburger. That's something I rarely have the pleasure of saying, but that's what happened. Burger-ified, I was still giving much admiration to Sweet Iron Waffles' sweet and savory options being served up at the festival. Their Belgian style waffles are a perfect match, and they've been consistent beer festival vendors, keeping the crowds happy and Nutella-ified. Their brie and basil remains one of my favorites, but if my gut isn't completely engorged with Fatburger like a freshly-fed snake, I'll have to indulge in their sweet salted caramel waffle.

Never roam without your Beer Gnome - Photos by Wasabi Prime

We departed Belgianfest 2013 beer-happy and thankfully unscathed by a hangover the next day. Again, I think the sipping quality of these beers lends itself well to impulse control. You get a happy beer buzz with enough time to sober up to get home, and still wake up bright-eyed and hangover-free the next day. A beer festival success, if there ever was one!

FoodTrek: Mahalo Plenty and Putting the "Wow" in Luau

I'm so not a luau person. I can count on one hand how many times I've been to a luau and I can now commit two digits to this achievement. I saw that episode of No Reservations where Tony Bourdain reluctantly attended a luau, and I felt his pain (at least until the tiki drinks kicked in, then it was all good times). That being said, it's sure saying something when I can say I came, I saw, I luau-ed and had a really fun night on our last evening in Maui, with the Runic Games crowd at the Old Lahaina Luau.

Rock-a-Hula, baby - swaying in the tropical breeze in Lahaina - Photo by Wasabi Prime

Total Party Pooper Confession: I had considered skipping the luau -- we missed our chance to try Star Noodle in Lahaina, along with many other restaurants that were on my Maui wish list. Committing a night of just eating at as many places as we could manage was awfully tempting. And the rush hour traffic, complete with a road-blocking accident made for a pretty wicked commute from Makena to Lahaina. Translated to full-on Pidgin with a touch of Maui dialect: Eh, dis one plenty kine pilau pauhana traffic! Dis some junk, eh?!  But this was the final night in Maui, we had so much fun on this huge group vacation with all of the Mister's workmates at Runic, and this felt like a proper way to end our very magical trip on a festive,  happy, gang's-all-here note.

1-2-3 - CAMERA TIME! Festive night and a special little guest-star - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Luckily, we were in the land of Island Time, so despite the traffic snarl, we didn't miss a thing upon our arrival to the Old Lahaina Luau. It's set up like dinner and a concert -- you have a little cocktail hour time, getting settled, enjoying the fresh flower lei they greet you with, and you continue to enjoy cocktail hour time until the buffet is opened. Then it's almost like going to a big banquet wedding -- each table gets up to go through the buffet line and it's done in a nice, orderly fashion so the line for dinner doesn't look like all hell's broken loose. Our group probably took up five or six tables, which were all within the same general area, so it was nice to have everyone sitting so close. We even got a special guest visitor -- a little gecko which scared the holy hell out of one of our friends. I'm pretty sure the gecko was just hoping for a sip of Mai Tai. The photo above is just a reenactment of what happened, as that picture was taken in Kona a couple of years ago, but believe me -- those geckos are lushes, every last one of them!

Eating the islands, one bite at a time - Photo by Wasabi Prime

It was hard to take a good photo of the buffet area while trying to balance my plate, but believe me, it was a very good luau meal. They of course had the requisite whole-roasted pig, fresh from the underground oven -- the imu -- with fall-off-the-bone smoky Magical Animal, but they also had mini pork laulau (pork wrapped in taro leaf, with a little piece of fish for extra flavor, wrapped in a ti leaf before being slowly cooked), two different kinds of poke (Hawaiian-style ceviche) -- one with octopus and the other with tuna, roasted alii potatoes (also known as purple Okinawan potatoes), fresh locally-grown salad greens, a tasty warabi and tomato salad (warabi is like a tropical fiddlehead fern), and more familiar items like teriyaki chicken, beef and roasted fish. There was poi, that old luau favorite of mashed taro root made into a thick, sticky pudding -- which I skipped -- not my thing, but very traditional and worth trying if you've never had it. I feasted on the island beasts from land to sea, and enjoyed every bite. Say what you will about buffets or even luaus -- this was really delicious and the food was fresh and genuine, not trying to adhere to some silly image of what Hawaiian food should be. The endless cocktails were nice as well, an option well-chosen for our party-hearty group.

The story of the Hawaiian islands, as told through music and dance - Photos by Wasabi Prime

We were happily settled in Food Coma Land when the sun settled into the sea and the performances began. The Old Lahaina Luau does a beautiful job, presenting as much of the mythical story of the Hawaiian islands as they do the history of hula itself within the islands. Several of the hula kahiko -- traditional or ancient style of hula -- are from the surrounding Polynesian islands, the original Hawaiian settlers who brought the cultures of the Marquesas and Tahiti, including their method of historical preservation by way of movement and song. The performances are introduced with explanations in English, as well as Native Hawaiian by a kumu, an elder and teacher.

The early settlers of Hawaii and the legends of gods who created the islands - Photos by Wasabi Prime

I loved seeing the performance of the story of Pele, Goddess of Fire, who lives in the Kilauea crater on the Big Island of Hawaii, and her tempestuous relationship with her older sister, Namakaokahai, goddess of water, ocean and rain. It's always the ladies with the complex personal dynamics and DRAMA, no? There's different variations on the story, that Pele put the moves on her sister's husband, or that like many siblings, they just couldn't get along, and so they fought -- fire and water, in a constant battle. But ohana -- family -- wins out in the end, they strike a balance, just like the way the ocean's waves crash against the cliffs of Kilauea, yet the volcano remains active and very much alive; neither force fully overtakes the other and so the islands continue to grow. All this through a beautiful song and dance? Well, just believe me, it's there.

From past to present, a history of hula - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Despite how cool it would have looked in a photo, there were no spinning batons of fire going on. That's a little more Vegas-y and less traditional, because really, how safe is that, spinning stuff on fire?? The later performances show the hula's history, definitely a sign of the European influence, with full muumuu style dresses befitting the modest British settlers that nearly made Hawaii their own (at least before America got their protectorate clutches into it -- but oy, what a bigger, more complicated story that one is). The popularized modern hula -- hula auana -- reminded me of the annual Merrie Monarch hula festival that happens every year in Hilo on the Big Island. Literally the Superbowl of Hula, with halaus traveling from as far as Japan to participate, all the islands literally drop everything to watch it and enjoy the cultural celebration. Hula auana style is more athletic and quick, with synchronized strong movements, especially the all-male performers, proving that men can make hula impressive and powerful. As an art form, hula continues to regain its cultural significance in people's minds -- it lost a lot of ground from too many years of trivialized fake grass skirts, bad tattoos and silly (but wonderful) Elvis movies. Well-done performances like the ones at Old Lahaina Luau are helping to set the image right. 

Cheers to you, Maui - and no, that wasn't my lei on the mermaid - Photos by Wasabi Prime

So yes, despite my not being a luau person, I genuinely enjoyed myself on our Aloha oi, Farewell to Maui night, rockin' the hula. It was a beautiful evening, and everyone looked so happy, relaxed and fully vacation-ized at the luau -- even the Mister and me! We all made our way back to the hotel for a final cocktail hour in their lounge, plus post-func room POG-tinis because we all bought waaaaaaaay too much alcohol (damn you, Costco!) and were desperate to finish as much of it up before we headed back to the Mainland the next day.

Mahalo Plenty to Runic Games for their generosity and heartfelt Aloha to not only the employees but their families, the trip organizers and team-wranglers, the gorgeous island of Maui and all the locals we met, the very patient and good-natured bartenders and staff at Makena Resort who served our every tipsy whim, the awesome Runic Gang for being such FUN travel companions, and even Mother Nature and the Hawaiian gods themselves, for blessing us with an incredible week-long experience. Aloha nui loa -- looking forward to returning again soon!

FoodTrek: Fearless Feats and Feasts, the Maui Adventures Continue!

My best vacation advice ever? Have SOMEONE ELSE plan your excursions. Because that Someone Else will plan something more adventurous than what you would ever choose from a clinically sane mind. That Someone Else will test your boundaries for personal safety. And that Someone Else may stand to inherit all your personal wealth and property in the event of your unfortunate demise, so what the hell -- RIDE THE SNAKE AND ENJOY MAUI TO THE FULLEST!

Locomoco, taken to Eleven, thanks to Kihei Caffe  -  Photo by Wasabi Prime

I can credit Mr. Wasabi, aka, Brock, with making our trip to Maui all the more adventurous and harrowing because he chose all our land-to-sea-activities that surely put my Power of Attorney  preparations to the test. All I can take credit for is saying: I want some wicked-ass Locomoco that will stop my arteries in place. Blame peer pressure, but given our Runic Games crew of adventurous food-souls, the photos of a Legendary Yeti-like Locomoco on
Facebook from fellow Runic-arians inspired me to bomb my gut with furious intent with rice, beef patty, egg and packaged gravy. Which ultimately led us to Kihei Caffe.

Eating well and local-friendly. Just check the condiment area for the seal of Aloha - Photos by Wasabi Prime

You know a place is true hidden gem when all you have is some friends' very avid Facebook photos and aYelp entry. That's Kihei Caffe. No fancy schmancy website, no fussy ads in the airline magazine or a visit from Andrew Zimmern/Tony Bourdain/ etc., but they do have a Facebook page. Several friends made it out here to have a reasonably-priced meal, a decent cup of coffee, and just eat like the locals do, which is just what this place is -- delightfully local and delicious. A mix of island-sourced ingredients with locomoco breakfasts, fruit smoothies and coffee drinks. Don't be put off by the big sign saying you should order your food first and not hold a table. It's true -- by the time you place your order, get that cup of coffee and wait for your food, a table will, indeed open for you. Trust in the Gods, they will not fail you, even on a busy Wednesday morning. I daresay this corner-stop little restaurant has cracked the Foodservice DaVinci Code -- people will not hang onto a table longer than necessary, especially when they have stuff to do or get to work, so don't pre-emptively hold a table like it's made of gold. We followed this rule, even after driving by the place a couple of times, feeling rather sure we'd never get a place to sit, yet there we found ourselves, magically blessed with a delicious egg and chorizo breakfast, fried rice locomoco, and two coffees, enjoying our hearty breakfast with no pressure, and time to leisurely depart our table to start the day. Pure sorcery! And most importantly, Holy Hell, that fried rice Locomoco was damn good. Clearly the photos speak for themselves. It was Epic. And I don't need to say any more about how you need to make a stop here for at least one breakfast while on your visit to Maui. My work here is done.

Big day in Upcountry Maui -- sugar, spice, everything nice - Photos by Wasabi Prime

This was the perfect fuel for any number of events on your island itinerary - especially a trip Upcountry, past the sugar cane fields, towards Haleakala -- and definitely check out the lovely lavender farm at Ali'i Kula Lavender. The Mister decided to scare the hell out of me by signing us up for a ziplining excursion at the foot of Haleakala Crater. I have a lot of memories of tourist excursions in  Upcountry Maui, spending childhood summers at my grandparents' home in Makawao -- all those bike tour groups going down the mountain, zipping by the road near the house, which meant in the misty fog of early morning, we'd have quiet, peaceful periods broken up by momentary howls of raw human terror as bicycle groups would come barreling down the winding country roads. Runic friends did this Hell on Wheels tour, and they said it was Awesomesauce, which I have no doubt. We opted for heading towards Kula and checking into Skyline EcoAdventures for our own ride of a lifetime, bringing my Circle of Terror/Spiritual Epiphany to completion.

Ziplining shenanigans and Indiana Jones flashbacks - Photos by Wasabi Prime

I will never say Don't Do Ziplining. It will go against every cellular fiber of common sense that believes in the power of gravity and not stepping off of a perfectly stable platform into a cavernous valley, but I will never say NO to strapping in, Trusting the Gear, and simply hanging on for dear f%$ing life. Why? Because despite the crappy Tardar Sauce-cat frowny-face you'll inevitably make in every photo (like me), it's an experience that teaches you to simply Let Go. You have no idea how profound that is. It's like an enema of the human soul. I'm pretty sure I had an anxiety-ridden frowny face when I went skydiving years ago, but I don't regret it for a second, just like I don't regret getting the zipline ride of a lifetime FIVE TIMES with the fellas at Skyline EcoAdventures. Again, I know, this is a food blog and it's all about the crap we stuff into our faces and pretend how much of a life experience it is (honestly, it's not the end-all, be-all of life -- it's just calories you'll poop out in 8 hours), it's all about the bigger picture, which is training our little dino-pea-brains to step outside of our comfort zones, realize there's something bigger/scarier/greater than ourselves, and just submit to that dominant force. Don't like seafood? Give it a whirl, you might like the bugs of the sea! Think cilantro tastes like soap? Eat it when it's prepared properly and not over-used! Any food/ingredient you have some preconceived notion about? Throw your bias away and just accept that someone in the world will have a way of presenting it in a palatable, exciting way -- short of allergies, of course. Getting hooked onto a heavy-gauge wire and careening across a gorgeously terrifying tropical valley at 40 mph will be a right-quick way of reminding you to not be a Big Fussy Baby about anything in life, and just let things happen.

Taking in the Maui sights - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Granted, I now have many unflattering sour-faced photos, swooping along with the greatest of unease, but I still recommend giving ziplining a try if you've never done it, because it will leave you with the profound realization of Letting Go. You can apply that moment of self-realization to anything you like, just reconsider the photo part, immortalizing your fear and discomfort, so everyone else doesn't see those horrible pics of you looking like you just ate rotten meat or passed through a stranger's fart.

Big day at sea -- fortify at Kihei Caffe, mateys! - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Fine, so maybe an adventurous day on land isn't your thing -- how about swashbuckling adventures on the High Seas? Admittedly, we fortified at Kihei Caffe before heading Upcountry, like a couple of landlubbers, but there's no reason their coffee and a breakfast to-go couldn't power you for a day on the ocean. The Mister and I tasked the good fellows at Trilogy to sail us across the rolling blues of the Pacific towards snorkeling adventures and whale sightings. We ended up doing two snorkeling excursions with Trilogy, only because the first outing was fraught with high winds and wild waves, so we couldn't get to our main destination, snorkeling around the Molokini Crater. We still snorkeled around Olowalu, which has a gorgeous (and wind-protected) coral reef home to sea turtle "cleaning stations" where the turtles literally hang around the reef, get a gentle spa treatment from the fish, and putter along their merry way for their paparazzi photo session with us silly snorkeling hoomins. Olowalu had some of the best sea turtle viewing and the water visibility was crystal-clear when we were snorkeling, even in high-wind conditions.

"THAR BE WHALES, CAPTAIN!" Incredible sights on the high seas -- and some turtles - Photos by Wasabi Prime

We were obsessed with getting out to Molokini, so we booked a second trip out with Trilogy, which given the improved weather conditions, was much more smooth. And so we made it to Molokini crater, an underwater cinder cone that is now a protected bird sanctuary. From a glance up-close, you'd think -- Bird Poop Island. But viewed from above, it's a gorgeous C-shape underwater volcanic formation, and underwater, it's a beautifully preserved coral reef, flush with underwater wildlife. Friends who are scuba-certified went diving around the crater and they said it was amazing -- like a whale concert, you could hear so much activity. It's totally worth waking up at the crack of dawn to board the catamaran at Maalea Harbor. It's worth the smooth early morning ride towards Molokini, watching the sky go from deep shades of dark blue, to bright pink, orange and yellow, before melting into a bright sky blue with the sun's light -- especially with a tasty cinnamon bun in hand, thanks to Trilogy's kitchen-crafty crew. The early morning wake-up is absolutely worth the incredible humpback whale sightings you'll see if you're out on the water during their January migratory path. Our boat was literally a breath away from several whales swimming by and I could see the barnacles on the blowhole that appeared within an arm's reach from our boat!! By law, vessels and humans required to stay a safe distance from the whales, but the waters are so crowded with humpback whales, it's ridiculous! In all the years I visited the island of Maui, I'd never been there during January, and clearly this is the time to be here, for waters so busy with whales, you can sit on your hotel balcony and count the numbers of whale spouts and tail-flips as you drink your morning coffee. It was that awesome. Seriously.

Maui sunrises on the water and molesting fake turtles - Photos by Wasabi Prime

I said before how visiting Hawaii is one of those odd vacation experiences where you don't want to sleep in, and waking up early is a part of the experience -- I stand by this crazypant statement. I don't think we slept in beyond 8am on any of the days spent on Maui, and considering what torture it is to wake up by/before that time at home, that's saying something. The Mister wisely chose Trilogy to handle our snorkeling trips and I'd recommend this outfit hands-down. They fed us breakfast and lunch, prepared right on the boat. Coffee/cocoa and fresh-baked cinnamon rolls for the morning, and a hearty and tasty chicken teriyaki with rice, salad and taro roll for lunch -- plenty of seconds for both meal services, so don't be shy. They'll provide snorkel gear, as well as rash guard tops to ward off sunburn and ocean temperatures. Bring a sweater or hoodie to ward off morning chill or wind while on the boat, and if you've got a hat, make sure it's got a strap or firmly attached to your noggin, the wind can really kick up. And don't skimp on the sunscreen, you pasty, vitamin D-deficient gang of Gollums -- opt for lotion-based sunscreen vs the spray-on stuff, which just gets messy and slippery if you're trying to use it on the boat. You should apply the liquid sunscreen in advance, just to allow it to soak into your skin and avoid as much of it from seeping into the ocean, since you're swimming in eco-protected environments. You don't want a bunch of Jersey Shore goombas rolling around your living room, coated in Crisco, so think about how the fish and turtles feel with you jumping into their waters with barely-set Coppertone sunblock that smells like a cocoa butter-slathered stripper -- got it?

The all-important cocktail hour on the boat and turtle makeout session - Photos by Wasabi Prime

Not that it's all eco-green-ocean tree-hugging awareness on the boat -- there's always Cocktail Hour. You've had a few rounds of snorkeling and getting to know the wildlife, and now it's a leisurely sail back to the harbor, complete with Jurassic Park soundtrack-playing, because we were being silly and requested it, right after the love-fest with Journey's Don't Stop Believing. Let's unwind with some beer and Mai Tais, shall we? There's no need for Tom Cruise to be shimmy-shaky-mixologist-make-y some complex cocktail creation. Just an eco-friendly, recyclable cup filled with ice and pre-mixed Mai Tai goodness, and you're in tropical heaven on the high seas. I'm all for balanced, artisan cocktail-making, but when you're on a boat that's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin' with fussy stuff, any easy-breezy cocktail will do, and we heartily enjoyed our quickly-made drinks on the catamaran, with a million-dollar view.

Finishing the day with Le Tigre, shoyu chicken and manju from Home Maid  Bakery - Photos by Wasabi Prime

How do you finish a day like this, ziplining through the wild jungles of Haleakala or braving the high seas and overly-curious turtles and whales of the Pacific Ocean? Maybe a simple meal of shoyu chicken and a to-go package of crispy manju from Home Maid Cafe, over in Kihei. The memorably tasty meals aren't overly-planned, they just happen. We were wandering a strip mall in Kihei, still salt-sprayed and windblown from our snorkel/catamaran adventure, and wanted something simple. I pick local places based on the taped-on flyers plastering a restaurant's window. If it's full of local performances, announcements, lost pets, I know it's good home-cookin' and that's how I zoned in on Home Maid Cafe. They don't have a website -- as far as I can tell, you can find their basic info via Yelp, Urbanspoon, all the usual suspects. The Mister and I shared a nice, simple order of shoyu chicken, which is just that -- chicken  roasted and then slowly braised in a sweetened soy sauce until the meat falls off the bone. Served with rice and potato-mac salad, it's a delicious way to fortify after a long day, and I made sure to pick up a package of their homemade crispy manju, which is a lovely little flaky pastry filled with anything from apple to more traditional fillings like sweet bean paste. The Mister might crinkle his nose at adzuki bean fillings, but I have to say, one of these dense but flaky pastries with morning coffee is a lil' slice of heaven. I enjoyed a couple of mornings with manju and coffee, watching whales from our hotel balcony, and I can't imagine a better dining experience than that.

Still craving more Maui-wowie adventures? I have one final post detailing our trip with Team Runic -- grab your grass skirt and get ready to rock-a-hula, baby! 

(And for no other reason than the fact that I'm a big, fat nerd, here's that part from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, where Scotty's ridiculous line ran through my head the whole time we were watchin' whales.)